WHAT NOW UNCLE DICK ? .... by The Cosmic Messenger

Things haven't gone well for the White House this past month in the battle to win the minds and hearts of Americans. Rising concerns over such controversies as prisoner abuse at Guantanamo Bay and the Downing Street memo has contributed to the growing skepticism of people whether the U.S. imperialistic adventure in Iraq has been mismanaged, was worth the cost and damaged our international image. As polls spiral downward both the Bush administration and the Republican Congress appear nervous public opinion no longer approves favorably of their job performance or is confident they have an exit strategy for the ongoing war.

A petition circulated in Congress, signed by 100 of its members and more than 500,000 Americans requested "that Bush respond honestly and in detail to the memo's allegations" we were taken to war on false pretenses. This type of activism is an unfavorable reminder of how quickly voter sentiment can shift if the media message isn't managed properly and has increased the anxiety levels of our nation's politicians. The dismaying transformation in the population's judgment recently was reflected in a statement made by former National Security Advisor Dr. Zbigniew Brzezinski while giving a Democratic radio address on June 24 when he asserted, "patriotism and love of country does not demand endless sacrifice on the part of our troops in a war justified by slogans. To ensure a safe and secure America, we have a responsibility to ask how we got to this point and where we are going from here."

As the proletariat class of America grows more restless about what they perceive as an inextricable quagmire doomed to bankrupt the country both financially and morally, I thought it would be appropriate to offer what could be construed as a strategy session amongst top planners within the White House to develop a new scheme for deceiving the people of the United States and refurbishing its image. The following exchange is fictional and intended to be a satirical account of how ideas for a new plot might evolve. We begin with the President placing a frantic call to his puppeteer.

DUBYA: Uncle Dick, Uncle Dick come quickly ! Some very nasty messages have been left on my answering machine from CEO's, GOP congress persons and political leaders of the three or four allied nations still supporting our efforts to impose global, corporate hegemony on the rest of the world. Our evangelical friends would be shocked by such language.

PUPPETEER: Calm down Dubya and take that rubber nipple out of your mouth. If you're going to choke on something at least let it be a pretzel. What seems to be so urgent that you have to interrupt me just as I was leaving to go on another duck hunting trip ? This better be good !

DUBYA: I thought you knew I switched to Doritos. It's the preferred snack of ruthless tyrants everywhere. The reason I called is there seems to be a slide in our approval ratings this past month and the groupies are starting to get pressure from the folks back home. It's all about that darn memo which surfaced in the press across the pond. Our congressional dupes are worried they could be voted out of office in 2006. I don't need to remind you they control the purse strings to the national Treasury. Their exit from office would end any chance of the global domination we covet. I won't repeat some of their diatribes to me and rantings from our corporate supporters who have a stake in the action too.

PUPPETEER: You're such a jittery neurotic, Dubya. Have we adjusted the dosage of your medication lately ? You ought to try whiskey shots. They don't need FDA approval and calm your emotions just as good if not better. The liberal media is to blame for undermining our communication strategy so we'll have to refocus the public's attention. I've got some ideas what we can do to regain the confidence of the voters but it's going to cost you a couple more billion in contracts for my old corporate firm. A small price to pay for pulling your chestnuts out of the fire again.

DUBYA: Sounds reasonable to me but I'll have to get Daddy's approval. It shouldn't be a problem though. We've just about spent all our political capital so I hope your latest scheme is like a ninth inning rally for the GOP team. What else can we do ? We've already satisfied the greed of everyone that's important with tax cuts, raided the Treasury to give to our military contractor friends and payed off the religious fundamentalists with acceptable judicial appointments. I don't see too many more options. The rhetoric about patriotism, flag waving, gay bashing and labeling the other party as liberal obstructionists seems to be wearing thin with voter's perceptions. Even bourgeoise Republicans are beginning to get edgy.

PUPPETEER: The first thing to do is not panic and stick to the script. Besides, my heart can't take it. I've got the play book beside me and I'm scrolling its index as we speak. The last entry points to a chapter labeled IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY and lists a phone number for someone with the initials of KR described as a hatchet person possessing consummate political chicanery skills. I'll dial it and set up a teleconference now.

OFFICE OF SMUT AND DECEPTION: Hello ... This is the Office Of Smut And Deception dedicated to misrepresenting the facts whenever necessary. How can we help you today, Uncle Dick ?

PUPPETEER: We've got a situation which demands your immediate attention and requires the type of nastiness you're reputable for, KR. Deliver on this problem and Dubya says we'll arrange for you to pursue a very profitable lobbying career once you leave our employment.

OFFICE OF SMUT AND DECEPTION: Uh, sir ... perhaps you don't remember but I wrote the guidelines on tactical deceit for Republicans. Such maneuvers as changing the subject, attacking opponents while minimizing your own faults, taking an uncompromising position on issues and having others justify it for you, exploiting religious values/patriotic themes were all my ideas. By the way ... I admired how you fell on your sword for Dubya with that remark about insurgency being in its last throes. We know that's not true but it took the heat off the President and shifted the focus to your controversial assertion. The press are imbeciles for reporting that quote. What seems to be the trouble now ?

PUPPETEER: As you know, Republicans are on the defensive everywhere. Guess we underestimated Howard Dean over at the DNC. He's winning public loyalty by actually telling the truth and focusing their attention on corruption inside the Washington beltway. We need fresh, sensational themes to broadcast and promote. Stereotyping the opposition as wimps or crybabies isn't suitable anymore at a time when their moxie's elevated. Don't you agree, Dubya ?
DUBYA: Whatever you say is okay with me, Uncle Dick. I'll leave the details to you and KR. Let me recommend once a new plan is developed though, we use some of those blonde cheerleaders with pom-poms from the Dallas Cowpokes as background props to distract the audience while I present my next prime time infomercial urging the nation to keep on track. You really ought to try these Dorito chips. I was just licking the spices from my fingers.

OFFICE OF SMUT AND DECEPTION: Vivid idea, Dubya. Using evasive illusion and fantasy representation by appealing to their human emotions is the key to recreating our PR campaign and winning back the public. What's worked so far is building a coalition of the willing based on something each desires eagerly ... money, political freedom or biblical fundamentalism. You're right about staying the course. We need to reaffirm our previous commitments with some fine-tuning. Ask yourselves what we could do to please the corporations, lobbyists, contractors, religious extremists and foreign allies while still promoting fear in the general population ? The answer is androids, gentlemen !

DUBYA: Duh ... androids ?

PUPPETEER: That's brilliant, KR. I seem to recall a memo several months ago from one of our off budget stealth departments about the development of this technology. It was part of a joint military task force study known as PROJECT ALPHA. Are they finally ready for assembly line production ?

OFFICE OF SMUT AND DECEPTION: You must be neglecting your late night reading, Dubya. Androids are automated robots that can be programmed to perform specific tasks. This isn't futuristic Hollywood science fiction but a current project by the U.S. Joint Forces Command (USJFCOM) which seeks to replace mortals with mechanical humanoids to execute many of the most dangerous battlefield functions. Their utilization could range from piloting aircraft for dangerous bombing missions likely to result in the loss of human life for their occupants or manufacturing army brigades to engage hostile adversaries in combat with advanced weaponry. The media loves covering this kind of story because it has the type of imaginative appeal which allows their audiences to escape unpleasant war realities through diversion which can be packaged into short news segments without too much confirmation of the details and is entertaining.

PUPPETEER: Are there other advantages to promoting this idea, KR ? We still need to appease the doubts of our religious friends, corporate donors, contractors/lobbyists and foreign leaders who are essential to maintaining our steadfastness over American government.

OFFICE OF SMUT AND DECEPTION: Most definitely, Uncle Dick. The evangelical ministers can return to their Sunday morning congregations proclaiming God has provided a divine solution for stopping the demise of their sons and daughters with the deployment of robot warriors. Contractors and the lobbyists who seek Congressional funding on their behalf will be elated about building these devices and orders for them should roll in as their strategical importance is recognized. Foreign governments along with transnational corporations can rest easy knowing the human death factor of friendly troops will be minimized in military conflict when necessary to suppress resistance opposing their pursuit of material wealth. The perfect solution to perpetual war without risk in which all our friends benefit. It'll definitely mean more no-bid business for your past associates. I can't think of a more effective way to regain the public's loyalty and it should put an end to the heat I've been taking lately about the Plame controversy. Nothing like fixing one leak with a better one. Should I start scripting the android story and floating it anonymously to our usual press allies now ?

PUPPETEER: Go ahead and initiate the plan, KR. I'll have a few of the neocon think tanks write some position papers justifying the use of this technology as the most effective means for defeating terrorism globally. I'm sure they can put together some drivel in advance of your nameless disclosures to the media proclaiming its benefits to society and science in general. If we pull this off, I see a Presidential Medal of Freedom in your immediate future. The commander in chief keeps an ample supply in his executive desk drawer and his secretary informs me he spends most of his unscheduled time polishing them to reward loyalists with. Do you have anything to add, Dubya ?

DUBYA: I'm out of Doritos. Have a staff member go to the local thrifty mart and buy up their supply for me.


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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, USA ... by The Cosmic Messenger

On July 4 our Nation pauses to celebrate, "INDEPENDENCE DAY," the holiday set aside to memorialize the signing of the official document declaring freedom from the tyranny of King George III of England. As we do, citizens must ask themselves whether events occurring the past couple of years have redefined the original meaning of our declaration and has human individualism been lost forever?

Oppression breeds discontent and in 1776 citizens living within the thirteen original colonies felt they were being unfairly taxed for the benefit of the ruling Aristocracy of England. Troops were sent to suppress the proliferation of anger by the Colonists resulting in the assembly of a Continental Congress whose representatives produced the, "DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE." It essentially renounced allegiance to the British Crown in the name of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and asserted freedom and independence for its residents. With this pronouncement, a birth of a nation came about and its stated principles have become a cherished model for subjucated people in the 227 years since.

The statement most often cited in this explicit expression of precepts is, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created Equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."
The significance of those words have become the subject of much debate and interpretation. The noted American Philosophy Educator, Michael Berliner writing last year in the online journal, "CAPITALISM MAGIZINE," reasons the essence of the Founding Fathers intent was to protect the potential ability of the Individual Mind to deduce sensibly.

"That is the meaning of Independence," he wrote. "Trust in your own judgement, in reason; do not sacrifice your mind to the state, the church, the race, the nation or your neighbors." Berliner defines unalienable Rights as follows:

RIGHT TO LIFE: "Means that every individual has a right to his own independent life, that one's life belongs to oneself, not to others to use as they see fit."

RIGHT TO LIBERTY: "Means the right to freedom of action, to act on one's own judgement, the right not to have a gun pointed at one's head and be forced to do what someone else commands."

RIGHT TO PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS: "Means an individual may properly pursue his own happiness, friends, hobbies, etc and not exist as a mere tool to serve the goals of others."

Members of the Second Continental Congress placed an overwhelming emphasis on institutions being subordinate to the rights of individuals. After declaring itself a Nation, a Constitution was authored, including a Bill Of Rights which specifically detailed the laws of the land. However, it failed to adequately address one important question which has been both a divisive and monumental influence in shaping the legal legacy of the United States to present. Can corporations be considered persons, entitled to the same Rights guaranteed to individuals under the Constitution or should they be defined as artificial entities without these privileges?

Thom Hartmann, a lecturer and author with expertise on the subject, asserts imposing rules on corporations was deliberately omitted in anticipation that left unchecked, the young nation would grow and prosper. Instead, States would regulate industry and insure they didn't acquire monopolistic control.

"States made it illegal for corporations to lie about their products, and required that their books and processes always be open to government regulators.

States and the federal government claimed the right to inspect companies and investigate them when they caused pollution, harmed workers or created hazards for communities," Hartmann wrote. More importantly, States prohibited corporations from either participating or influencing the political process.

Eventually, the Industrial Barons of the 1800's considered the restraints too restrictive and petitoned to have the same Constitutional rights enjoyed by individuals as a means of gaining broader control of the economic marketplace.

Not until 1886, when a clerical error was inserted into a U.S. Supreme Court decision claiming corporations were persons, did their legal status change. The mistake was cited as judicial precedent in future challenges. An explicit accounting of how corporations obtained personhood can be found in Hartmann's book, "UNEQUAL PROTECTION: THE RISE OF CORPORATE DOMINANCE AND THE THEFT OF HUMAN RIGHTS."

The recognition of corporations as individuals has led to a gradual reversal of the original intent of the Constitution designed to protect human rights so they might remain free of subversive institutions. Rather than providing parity, the balance has shifted to protecting the interests of corporations above all else, affirming the convictions of Thomas Jefferson and others of his Era concerning the adverse consequences of unfettered business organizations.

This new realignment, became evident in the 1980's when Corporations used Constitutional rights such as the First, Fourth and Fifth Amendments in legal cases to belligerently proclaim protection in disputes concerning Free Speech, Search and Seizure and Double Jeopardy. As the new reality dawned and legal challenges esculated from within the business community , States followed the lead of the Federal government removing many of the past commerce constraints making industries virtually self regulating.

In the aftermath, our Nation has changed. Domestic and foreign policies have been altered to serve the interests of business donors who generously contribute to political campaigns. Half - truths such as those about Jessica Lynch or WMD's are floated as patriotic empathy by elected leaders and circulated through a complicit media driven by the same acquisitive desire of the false gods they serve. Moral phrases such as, "In God We Trust," have become nothing more than meaningless political slogans invoked by empty faces devoid of the values they purport to represent. Think tanks are recruited to devise sales pitches to disarm our reservations about whatever happens to be the latest plan in vogue.

The modern United States we are witnessing has chosen the path of a deregulated business society, adept at using the media, legal system, political power and money to achieve its ends. This combination of influences is the antithesis to the meaning of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. An extreme, amoral philosophy has been christened and elevated to the top of a ethical society.

Persons are free to disagree but only to the extent it doesn't conflict with the desired goals of the artificial bodies who control the agenda. Dissent, a form of reasoning, is met with increased monitoring of your lifestyle. Corporate immunity as opposed to human freedom appears to have become the leading objective, whatever the costs either monetarily or socially. Good conduct doesn't seem to be a motivating factor within the realms of this altered, reconditioned environment.

Our Founding Fathers sought to defend this Country from the excesses of a material society by establishing as its cornerstone protection of human dignity above institutions. This rule no longer exists. Our Rights to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness haven't been extinguished but redefined to mean principles of politically correct behavior. As long as we stay within that parameter, we are free to enjoy the independence dictated to us by the new revisionists. Is it a receipe for tyranny ? While eating your barbecue this Fourth of July, consider the words of current DNC chairman and former Presidental candidate Howard Dean while on the campaign trail in 2004:

"The Americans I have met love their country. They believe deeply in its promise, our values and our principles but they know something is wrong and want to take action."


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