MIND GAMES FOR SENIORS ... by The Cosmic Messenger

Recently I was weeding the garden path leading to the front door of my home when my neighbor's grade school daughter appeared before me with mail of mine which had been delivered mistakenly to their address. I thanked her for bringing it to me and reminded her to stop by the house with her friends Halloween night for some candy treats. Later in the evening I discovered the postal delivery was the government's official Medicare Handbook for 2006. Normally when this guide arrives, I toss it into some dusty corner of my home office but this year was different. Its front page was emboldened with patriotic color script reminding everyone of the new prescription drug benefit being offered and directing me to turn to Section 1 to learn more. Little did I realize this declaration would become the start of a frustrating bureaucratic odyssey devised by Bush special interests to bring us this new retirement perk.

Flipping to the first chapter, I found a basic overview of the new Rx coverage consisting of four pages describing the various options which a person might qualify depending on what Medicare plan they were currently enrolled. Although this appeared to be self explanatory, I soon realized government statements weren't written to be easily interpreted and rather than concisely outlining the various possibilities available, redirects to other chapters were inserted for additional clarification. This became annoying as I had to bend corner pages throughout the manual, go to another section to read an explanation and return to the original leaf of the book afterwards. Particularly irritating was the use of blue words throughout whose definitions had a special chapter of their own describing their implied meaning. My impatience grew after an hour of page turning and scribbling stipulations on a note pad. Lacking mental acuity at this point, I decided it would be best if I returned to deciphering how I fit into the new program another time.

Several days later refreshed and feeling more intellectually cognisant, I undertook the task again of wading through the excessive verbiage of this publication imploring me to sign up for the reputedly wondrous addition to Medicare labeled, "PART D." My first task was to decide whether it would be more cost effective to stay in the traditional Medicare program and contract separately with one of the companies designated to provide the drug plan or switch to an alternative like an HMO or PPO being promoted by the Bushies as "healthcare lite" for seniors packaged with the new drug agenda already included. Personally, I like the conventional Medicare program because individuals can have the Part B deductible taken from their Social Security monthly check and their only remaining obligation is an annual one time payment of a Medigap policy amount for initial claims at the start of each year. HMO's mandate that you pay certain costs for health services at the point of sale, monthly premiums vary and rely on an individual's fiscal judiciousness to have funds available when medical care is necessary. After considering the risks of each approach, I resolved to calculate which method would provide the most efficient combination of drug and health insurance at an affordable price. As I prepared to embark on the next step of my inquisitive venture, I was struck by an apprehensive premonition signaling the path I was traversing was about to become more problematic.

Just as I suspected ... difficulties were encountered almost immediately ! Since the HMO plans offer the new drug benefit as a combined part of their health coverage, I thought I would go to comparisons of the programs for those of us considering staying with the original Medicare plan. The back of the Medicare Handbook conveniently lists providers designated for each state and contact numbers. Where I reside, there's 18 companies offering 41 different plans depending on the monthly premium, copay and yearly deductible an individual is willing to pay so I figured I better start calling to determine which one best fits my prescription needs.

The first number I dialed I was greeted by a cheerful, perky female voice eager to please me but soon into the conversation I realized she was reading scripted replys and incapable of answering follow-up questions. Her response to simple inquires such as which drugs are covered or what pharmacies I could go to was the program is new and guidelines haven't been fully developed yet. You can check with our website daily and as the information becomes available we will post it. Alternatively, if you give me your home phone number, someone would call back with the data you're seeking. Hmmmm .... I thought to myself. Wonder what she wants my number for ? She sounds cute on the line but as my imagination was about to gallop into fantasy land, I was snapped back to reality by the realization I would probably be harassed endlessly by telemarketers wishing to sell me everything but the drug plan I was attempting to find out about. Giving out your phone number is their key to running a credit check and selling you a product based on your financial ability to pay. I declined her suggestion but did provide my mailing address and requested an information packet with an application be forwarded to me and hung up.

On to the next company in the list. My curiosity actuated by the previous contact, I decisively pressed the keypad in a quest to find a bargain. The call was answered by a recorded announcement stating the company's office was in a transitional phase but if I left a name and number the communication would be returned soon. This sounded like the previous gimmick absent the live support and I assumed it was a cost saving measure to obtain the same information without having to pay an individual minimum wage or benefits. Their chintzy business approach suggested to me they probably would follow the same pattern when negotiating a prescription plan with a customer and I dropped them from further consideration.

Undaunted by my initial efforts to find out how to sign up for the new benefit, I selected another company from the handbook and dialed the number given. Six rings later, I was connected to another irritable recording stating no one was available to take take my call but if I remained on the line someone would be with me shortly. To further add insult to my dismay, the announcement claimed the company valued my patronage and asked me not to hang up. As I waited for live support, it occurred to me the frustration I was experiencing was likely elevating my blood pressure and I should make sure the plans included modification drugs to address this symptom in their fomularies.

Two minutes of waiting on hold the recorded message repeats itself.

Ten minutes into the time lag the same thing happens but at this point I vow to prevail and remain connected.

At the 30 minute mark I had to make a critical decision about whether the effort was worth the stress. Unwilling to relent, I opt to plug a headphone set into my cordless, shifted to a recliner and stretched out to await the sound of a human.

Forty five minutes after the hookup was first made ......... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Finally, I'm awakened from a deep slumber by a gravelly male voice and glancing at my wristwatch noticed the past 60 minutes of my life have been on hold. I'm informed the office is about to close for the day but if I gave him my mailing address, a package would be sent describing their plans along with an application form. I waited an hour on hold for some post menopausal male to tell me this ? For all I know, he could've been a member of the evening janitorial service who noticed the flashing phone button and decided to pick up the receiver to satisfy his curiosity.

Three weeks have passed since the inauspicious booklet arrived from Medicare trumpeting how seniors could obtain their magical, medical remedies from an industry who's rigged the distribution system to squeeze the most profit from them. I still don't have specific details about any of the plans offered by the companies I contacted and none of the information packages they promised have been sent to me. Is there a "Yellow Brick Road" I can follow leading me to the Grand Wizard Bush where I can get my questions answered satisfactorily ? I doubt he's accessible to the general public and my impression of the new prescription benefit he's offering is it's more a trick rather than a treat for Medicare recipients.


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